"Saved by Christ, Tempted by Hell" By Shane C. Montgomery

I see Christ everywhere, in all places, in all things. The  love of Him who bled for me is more than you can see. Yet it be there, I promise thee. His majesty in the presence of my ugliness. His royal glory, my sinful mess.  He lives so I can live!   He bled for my sins, was buried for my evil, rose again for my soul and His Father's glory.  Satan lost one of his own, he is not pleased and desires the return of me. Christ knows me better than I might be, even in this, He still accepts me!  I hide my sins, past and present, from my heart and from my mind, still I deny, these things that should die. The true state of my soul, a Savior still I need.  I suppress evil thoughts, "Take leave of me!"  I scream, in hopes they flee, but they flee only as far as I let them be.  There I bury them, in graves so shallow, yet they do bother me still. If I run the world to and fro, sea to sea, corner to corner, free from sin, I shall never be, for my heart goes with me, the root of mine evil, it yet be.


Yet, this plan is flawed, this to easily seen, Christ sees through me, as if clear I might be.  He hunts down my sins and shows them to me, I have no choice but confront them.  Could I deny them?  In front of my Savior?  Never be, but He is merciful, He forgives, again?  Yes, again!  One more time might be one time too many!  But not for Christ.  "Seventy times Seventy" I hear.  "Seventy times Seventy I forgive him of his wrong doings."  I shake in fear, I tremble in remorse.  I cannot be forgiven this time, I cannot, I should not be, I must not be, Damn Me for this!  Damn Me, I deserve it, I do not deserve Your love anymore!  A love so great, I cannot comprehend? Why offer this to me, so vile yet I am? You fill my dreams with my crimes, even in sleep I do not avoid my guilt, my conscience demands I pay a fee, in-prison me for eternity!  Damn Me this time, I would not blame You.  I would not curse You O Lord.  You deserve better.  You deserve the honor and praise I fail to give.  You, my Lord, deserve to be worshiped, applauded, lauded, exhalted, risen up, bowed down to, praised and prayed to.  You, my Lord, deserve better than a fool like me!  Forgive me yet again and see, I will only disappoint you as before.  I am selfish and You are giving. I am greedy, You are sharing.  The giver of blessings, yet I am not caring. Pride I guard and humbleness neglect. Holiness you instill, and righteousness I suspect.  Both foreign to me in deaths respect.  My life should be a testament to Your glory and majesty, yet it is a testimony to failure.  What kind of God would love a monster like me?   Holy God in Holy Heaven.  Lowly sinner in lowly gutter.  In the vile filth and grime where I belong.  A life once surrendered, a life, not long ago abandoned.  Failed, miserable, angry, sad, misplaced.  Tired, ashamed, hiding.  Found by Christ, delivered, made Holy in Holy God's eyes.  Made anew.  Reborn by the blood of Jesus Christ, my Savior, my Redeemer.  Deserving of eternal death and shame, promised eternal life and glory!  How can this be?  The naysayers denounce Him, but I embrace Him.  Satan lurks outside my home, waiting to be invited into my abode, for me to surrender once again to him, for the easy things of life.  Satan does so tempt me, yet I permit him back into my soul?  Where sloth and slumber wait his company.  Where lust and desire beg for his counsel. My soul, where envy and strife fight over every inch of territory, waiting for their master to return. Christ cannot dwell in a house of such sin, these foes must be defeated, one at a time they must leave to make room for Christ.  One at a time Christ digs one out of my soul, drags it kicking and screaming from the shadows of my very bowels, He shows this hideous thing to me, its face distorted and cankered, puss flows from the boils on its flesh, putrid smoke and acrid breath falls from its lips, these lips that once spoke so tempting to me, now quiver in fear in the presence of the King.  My Lord speaks, without saying a word, He looks not at the beast, but at me, "Sin be a cancer my child, your very life it takes, it eats away your soul, and leaves nothing for the Father and Me."  And bids me to kill it!  If I love Him, I will kill this evil sin, kill it off.  Be rid of it now!  "If you love Me, keep my commandments."   "Do you love the world more than Me?" There is no room in my soul for sin,  its days wither beneath my skin. Glory and honor await, Heaven holds a place for me, the value of sin is less than that, of common tin. My riches wait in Heavens bin, a crown of gold, so fine and rare, yet I will cast it upon the air, at His Holy feet, it will land, eternal years of praise, I will forever yet stand. So the approval of Christ I seek. At the Throne of God I pray, at His Holy feet I weep!  I search sin out, but not for pleasure, but rather to remove its head from its body.  To decapitate the beast is my only answer.  Sanctification is a bloody war.  You will be wounded. You will bleed, carrying your cross, you will see.  Sickness, suffering, and mockery.  Is it worth it? This much and so much more!  For the prince of this world is as before, hiding in plain sight, the people no longer take flight. Once ashamed now they boast, of his sinful work among their host. Their houses, they yield to him the most, their very children they will feed, the beast be ever hungry for our seed. Honor and glory know they not, why should I act so differently?   Christ is my desire, communion with the Son of God, my only plea.  My King bids me righteousness, my King bids me freedom.  Liberty once lost in sin, now gained in Christ my King.  Liberty so sweet, so lovely.  Liberty from oppression, from bondage, from carnal thoughts of fleshiness.  Precious liberty so long saught, precious liberty so long fought.  All to me given free, by the grace of Thee, my only King.