"The Loss of A Friend" by Shane C. Montgomery

  Today being Saturday, as usual, I find myself busy in preparing for tomorrows Lord's Day worship.  Today is also the day winter has chosen to make it's entrance known to all of us here in the Cincinnati area, the snow is blowing hard and coming down very fast, I foresee a good deal of snow shoveling early tomorrow to have the church ready for service, I double as the maintenance man as well as a few other duties in our small church.   My wife Jeannie is getting ready to leave for work where she works as a job coach for mentally impaired adults and has just received a phone call that none of the people she works with are well enough to work today, so this will surely cause some added chaos today. 


But none of this really matters today, today words and problems seem to just bounce harmlessly off of me.  About an hour ago I was checking my work email (I work with public utilities full time) and I was shocked and saddened by one email that informed me that one of my co-workers and a dear friend of mine, Joe B. has just passed away, his cancer has ended his earthly life.


Joe has not worked with us long, only since this past Spring.  Having spent the past 16 years in the business, I am often given the duty of training the new guys for a two week period and then mentoring them for the next several months until they are trained and comfortable enough to fully go out into the field on their own.  I took great pleasure in working with Joe and we instantly became friends.  Joe was a Gulf War Vet, same as me.  Joe was in Europe the same time me and my wife were prior to the war in Iraq and Kuwait.   But what truly brought me close to Joe was the fact that he had recently fought a long fight with cancer and was just this past Spring well enough to return to the work force.    The first day I met up with Joe to train him he walked up to me and said, "Hi Shane, they told me about your illness and how much pain the brain tumor is causing you, and I want to tell you I am here for you."   He went on to tell me about how he beat cancer and how he would be there for me on those "day after treatment days."   To his word, twice a week, first thing in the morning, Joe was calling me on my cell phone to ask how I was doing after my treatments.   When I returned from the Cleveland Clinic this past month, Joe was the first voice I heard on my voice mail, asking how I was doing.  Joe recently came into our pre work meetup and broke the news to all of us in the crew that his cancer had came back and it was very aggressive.  He said he was feeling very week and sick and that he would do his best but he could not promise that he would be much help.  None of us had any idea that he would be leaving us so soon.  Cancer took his life a mere month later!  ONE MONTH, was all it took to take him away from us.  We really never got to know him well enough in the eight months he was with us.  Like me, he had to miss work frequently to make doctors appointments and for testings and treatments in the hospital.  I think this is why I found a kindred spirit in Joe where some others never did, we had a common bond in our illness.  I honestly thought I would go before him.  I prayed Joe would get well and live long.  I prayed we would both live long, if it be the Lord's Will.


    Joe was a big man.  He stood 6'6" easily and when he stood next to me, he dwarfed me, at only 6' I felt like a child next to him.   His hands were like catchers mitts!  We spent many a day digging up buried utilities together and I sometimes looked at him like a big bear instead of a man.  But his size was deceiving, you would think him to be a brute, but he had a big heart and everything he did, he did out of love for others.   Joe will be missed.


  My heart is truly grieved and the grieving process, I know, will take as long as it takes.  It is okay to grieve, God expects us to, He understands what it is to love and loose people.   I have lost a friend, one who was always there for me.   For all Joe did for me, for his friendship, his encouragement, for those days when I was to ill to carry out my duties on the job site, he covered for me, and most of all for his loving heart.  For all this, I failed Joe in return.  In return for his love and his kindness, I failed him.  I did not return the love the way I should have.  Now I will have to live with this knowledge.  You see, Joe was not a Christian.


  Joe was full of love, but he was also full of sin and empty of Christ.  Joe never wanted to hurt anyone but Joe did not bow to God.  Knowing Joe it was obvious he was lost.  I tried a few times to witness to him.  I shared the Gospel with him once.   A few times, after he would unknowingly use God's Holy Name in vain, I would correct him and let him know why it was wrong to do that.  I showed Joe Christ, I let him know without Christ he would die an eternal death.   But I gave up to easy.   Joe was respectful of my faith, but he did not want to listen and I did not want to become a pest to a true friend.    Some friend I was!  I let my friend and co-worker die in his sins without Christ.   I am no friend, I failed him and I will have to answer for that.  May God have mercy upon my soul, even though I deserve Hell, and if only for this, than I would understand.  I deserve Hell for not taking the  Gospel Hammer and hammering at the heart of this giant that showed me such friendship.  I feel guilt, I feel remorse, I feel sorrow and I feel ashamed of myself.


  I know I could not save Joe.  All the preaching and sharing in the world could not save him, only Christ could have saved him, and maybe in the short time I was away from Joe in the hospital myself, just maybe Christ found Joe and did regenerate him.  But I do not know, that would be only speculation and wishful thinking.     All I know for sure is that I did not share Christ enough, I did not show Joe Christ as much as I should have.  Yes, I was a witness, but I was not a Bold Witness.  I knew he was sick and could possibly die but yet I did not tell him what he needed to hear.  I did not tell him "I know I have spoke to you of sin and of the need for pardon of those sins, I have told you of Christ and you were nice enough to hear me out, but I must tell you again my friend, because I value you, I Must Tell You Again dear brother!"   I could have did just that, but I did not.  I assumed I had a lifetime to tell him more of the wonders of Christ and what He did for us on the cross, how He washes our sins away and makes us new persons.   I could have told him again and again.  But I did not.


  Scripture tells us that "believing comes from hearing and hearing from preaching of the Word."   How was he to hear if for not a preacher?    I was that preacher!   I was, for the most part, a silent preacher!  What good is a preacher that does not preach the Gospel?    None.


  God in His mercy and love for His adopted children shows them great patience in their Sanctification.  This is my only condolence, for all my study and all my devotions, I am yet repenting.  I am yet being sanctified.   Praise be to the God of Heaven and Earth!    May He continue to Sanctify me as well as you dear reader.


    May this serve as a reminder to you and to me dear reader, assume nothing when it comes to time left on this earth.  Share the Gospel.   Be Bold, Be Obedient!   Be a true friend and do not let your friends die.


Shane C. Montgomery